my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
