I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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