My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
