i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it glows. i had to have it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
