So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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