If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
