areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
