UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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