1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
