Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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