My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
