i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
