i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
