I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
