Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need to calm my uterus...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
