okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
