i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
