It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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