hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
