so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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