That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize