"it" just moved
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize