All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't deserve a penis
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
