My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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