Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
