I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
