he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
