what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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