And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
