need another drink. this is the easiest way
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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