I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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