Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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