And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
