I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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