clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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