all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
