like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It was confusing and full of hummus
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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