Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
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