I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
