Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
