I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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