i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
