Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
