I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
