Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
