So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
