I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
