The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
