that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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