It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
