Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
