I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
