I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
