wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
