i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
