...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
