The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
