Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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