I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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