So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I licked your asshole in confidence.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
