but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
