Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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