im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need a beard to bite.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
