He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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