I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm jealous of your bromance
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
