At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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