You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
