wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
