I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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