If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
